Madeline S.

To everyone whos actually reading this thing I want to make something really clear. I HATE LIARS. So if you happen to be one of them click the [X] now. For everyone who isnt though, my names Madeline Lorraine Spina and Id really appreciate it if you would call me Maddy. If by any chance you dont know me Im a very complicated person to understand. My emotions are always all over the place and my actions are completely unpredictable. Sometimes because of my impulsivity I dont even know what Im going to do next. Resulting in a lot of drama and usually a negative outcome. Im not going to pretend to be perfect. In fact I am the exact opposite. I like to take comfort in the fact that I can admit this to myself though. Most cant. They pretend to be something their not and try extra hard to justify every mistake they make. At least I dont live in denial. That has to count for something, doesnt it? Furthermore, I change my mind constantly. Im one of those girls who cant decide whether or not I like something or someone for that matter. I judge people based on their appearance and how they act in front of me. Who doesnt though? Why try to get to know someone on a personal level if they make themselves look like a complete prick out in public? Either way, I try not to but it has become another one of my nasty habits. Most likely because I have been and do get judged everyday. I cant even list all of the labels people have given me over the years. Theirs to many to count. On a more personal level though, I struggle with depression every single day. That along with post traumatic stress disorder and sometimes even dissociation. I get these things from my past. The experiences I have had and the things I have been through has made me the person that I am today. Nothing to be proud of, believe me. Im working on it though. God and me arent exactly buddy - buddy but Id like to be. I do believe in him I just have a very hard time talking to him and trusting in something I cant even see. In fact, I have a very hard time trusting anyone. Probably because every single person I have ever trusted has screwed me over in one way or another. I always end up regretting it afterwards and sadly it doesnt hurt that person in the end, only me. If you havent realized yet I am also a very opinionated and outspoken person. Im not afraid to speak up for myself or others in need be. I will say what I want when I want. It doesnt matter who you are, I tell it how it is. I have a right to fight for what I believe in and so do you. Its a free country. Anyways though, I could go on and on telling you about the different characteristics I have and most likely scaring you away. Depending on my mood, maybe Ill update this at a later time. Dont be afraid to talk to me or ask me questions if your interested. I love meeting new people and making new friends. Dont mistake friendships for intimate relationships though. I am not interested in any guys. I already found my special someone and I love him very much. =]